- Aug 26, 2005
- 10,227
The joke thread
- Thread starter Gombur
- Start date
Usain Bolt goes to the clubhouse in Augusta and asks to become a member. The secretary says: "I'm sorry, Sir, we can't accept you here but there's a multi-racial club 10 minutes down the road."
He replies: "But I'm Usain Bolt!"
"Ok. Five minutes down the road".
He replies: "But I'm Usain Bolt!"
"Ok. Five minutes down the road".
Braque
Member
- Dec 14, 2005
- 2,256
Loads of good jokes here: http://www.solo1y.com/jokes.htm
Example:
Q: What's the difference between jam and marmalade?
A: You can't marmalade your cock up a girl's ass.
Example:
Q: What's the difference between jam and marmalade?
A: You can't marmalade your cock up a girl's ass.
Lebuff
Huge, throbbing Member
- May 1, 2007
- 1,302
New Treatment For Sunburn
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.
He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor'?
The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.
He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor'?
The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'
Gink
Member
- Nov 25, 2005
- 2,799
VERY VERY NSFW!!
Bob Saget tells the infamous 'The Aristocrats' joke.
If you haven't heard about 'The Aristocrats', it's a well-known anti-joke that's been evolving since late 1800, turning more and more foul as the years pass.
It's pretty horrible, do not watch at work, do not watch around family members, and do not watch if you find horribly offensive humor(?)... well.. offensive.
Because that's what this joke is about, being as offensive as you can.
The joke itself starts around 2:50.
[youtube:35nes5av]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HW4mPZmKPM[/youtube:35nes5av]
I want to press that this "joke" is horrible horrible horrible, but it's pretty legendary, and it's awesome hearing Bob Saget talk like that
Lots and lots of versions of it on Youtube, Gilbert Gottfrieds version is probably the worst one, and I strongly recommend it to Hom and Lebuff >_>
Bob Saget tells the infamous 'The Aristocrats' joke.
If you haven't heard about 'The Aristocrats', it's a well-known anti-joke that's been evolving since late 1800, turning more and more foul as the years pass.
It's pretty horrible, do not watch at work, do not watch around family members, and do not watch if you find horribly offensive humor(?)... well.. offensive.
Because that's what this joke is about, being as offensive as you can.
The joke itself starts around 2:50.
[youtube:35nes5av]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HW4mPZmKPM[/youtube:35nes5av]
I want to press that this "joke" is horrible horrible horrible, but it's pretty legendary, and it's awesome hearing Bob Saget talk like that
Lots and lots of versions of it on Youtube, Gilbert Gottfrieds version is probably the worst one, and I strongly recommend it to Hom and Lebuff >_>
Gink said:VERY VERY NSFW!!
Bob Saget tells the infamous 'The Aristocrats' joke.
If you haven't heard about 'The Aristocrats', it's a well-known anti-joke that's been evolving since late 1800, turning more and more foul as the years pass.
It's pretty horrible, do not watch at work, do not watch around family members, and do not watch if you find horribly offensive humor(?)... well.. offensive.
Because that's what this joke is about, being as offensive as you can.
The joke itself starts around 2:50.
[youtube:efy0frkn]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HW4mPZmKPM[/youtube:efy0frkn]
I want to press that this "joke" is horrible horrible horrible, but it's pretty legendary, and it's awesome hearing Bob Saget talk like that
Lots and lots of versions of it on Youtube, Gilbert Gottfrieds version is probably the worst one, and I strongly recommend it to Hom and Lebuff >_>
Should watch the movie where its from Gink: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436078/
Also, for the people that want even more explanation regarding the joke. I present to you, the wiki page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats_(joke)
