The joke thread
- Thread starter Gombur
- Start date
OP
- Sep 21, 2005
- 2,238
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money,
and then he married the one with the largest breasts.
The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money,
and then he married the one with the largest breasts.
- Dec 4, 2009
- 1,463
That's a rubbish version of "Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?"
Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
Since you've done a crap chemistry joke I'll give you another two: - A molecule of Gold walks into a bar, the bartender yells "Au get out of here!" - Why do chemists like nitrates so much? - Because they're cheaper than day rates.
Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
Since you've done a crap chemistry joke I'll give you another two: - A molecule of Gold walks into a bar, the bartender yells "Au get out of here!" - Why do chemists like nitrates so much? - Because they're cheaper than day rates.
- Dec 4, 2009
- 1,463
Then I'll become a diamond! Burned into carbon, purify it into graphite then under the huge pressure and heat of Hell (if Hell is the middle of the Earth), I'll become a nice diamond. With a bit of Boron or Nitrogen gas licking over the graphite during it I might get a nice blue or greenish tint to the diamond.
You can actually arrange for that to happen with your remains if you're cremated. Some daughters set their "father" into an engagement ring if the father passed on before the wedding so he can still be there to walk her down the aisle. They're called memorial diamonds iirc.
You can actually arrange for that to happen with your remains if you're cremated. Some daughters set their "father" into an engagement ring if the father passed on before the wedding so he can still be there to walk her down the aisle. They're called memorial diamonds iirc.
Braque
Member
- Dec 14, 2005
- 2,256
Wow, that is actually a real thing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memorial_diamond
I can't decide if that's creepy or amazing.
Damonkey
Member
- Mar 10, 2009
- 302