The Jokes Thread

OP
Ribena

Ribena

Member
Jan 19, 2006
410
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer", he says

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one else worth talking to,goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says,"That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window,flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, and plummets 30 stories to her death.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."
 
M

Mick

Guest
Superman was flying around the block as he suddenly noticed something. He saw Catwoman lying fully naked on her bed.
Superman thought by himself, "Hmmm, I always wanted to do her.... now would be my chance. I will fly in, do her, and fly out. I'm so fast, she won't even know what happened."
And so he did. It all went superfast, he was in and out of there in notime.
"What was that?", Catwoman asked.
"I don't know", said the Invisible Man, "but my ass hurts like hell".
 

Blozzom

Well-Known Member
Nov 3, 2005
809
ninja'ed from some "other" guilds forum:

Vorbis said:
A puppeteer is on stage entertaining the crowd with line after line of tasteless blonde jokes one after another. Eventally a blonde woman in the audience stands up and shouts "I'm fed up of this! I'm a successful business woman, I raise my family and earn an income, I have a masters degree in engineering and I am sick of all these jokes making me out to be dumb."
"Sorry" says the puppeteer "I didnt mean to offend you...."
"Not you! I'm talking to the little boy sat on your lap."
 

Ayu

You need help.
Staff member
Aug 26, 2005
15,256
leeroy7dy.jpg
 

Ayu

You need help.
Staff member
Aug 26, 2005
15,256
Liandra said:
Is actually a pretty balanced card, this :)

Nah, there is actually a red card for 3 mana with 4/3 that only has to attack every turn without any drawback if it dies or if it attacks alone :p
 
S

Soze

Guest
Ayu said:
Liandra said:
Is actually a pretty balanced card, this :)

Nah, there is actually a red card for 3 mana with 4/3 that only has to attack every turn without any drawback if it dies or if it attacks alone :p
Hm sure of that? Red is my main color (goblins ftw), and dont remember it :p Surely theres red one for 3 mana, 4/3 but with echo (need to pay it cost twice).
Good it's offtopic forum ;)
 

Ayu

You need help.
Staff member
Aug 26, 2005
15,256
Seems I was slightly off, has been some time when I played Magic.
Anyways, here are the two cards I remembered, both 4 mana, red card:

Viashino-Bey

viashino_bey.jpg


Ekundo Cyclops

ekundu_cyclops.jpg
 
A

Alron

Guest
I remember I had a blue counterspell deck or something.. many years since I've played it though. Was a fun game 8)
 
G

Guest

Guest
Alron said:
I remember I had a blue counterspell deck or something.. many years since I've played it though. Was a fun game 8)

Weissman deck ftw. Library of Alexandria is so OP in that deck :eek: